Villa RockStar

AT THE BOX OFFICE

This section is written in code to prevent hackers booking a nice holiday at the villa. Welcome to the RockStar Rappers Rates Page (RRRPG). If you have no interest in rap or flower arranging and just want to see our rates click here. Otherwise, the code starts now.

One, two - one two three
Here's how to become a RockStar lessee
In the rocket scientist community – they call this page the Triple RPG
That's because we took great care – to apply the rule E = mc2
So you don't need an MBA – to book a summer holiday
Just a touch of LSD – to deal with relativity

Our thanks to NASA and IBM – for helping sort the boys from men
If something's not PC – call our Internee - who will reply ASAP
Cos it's in our DNA - to be on the ball like the PGA
Check out this memo before you start this demo
It's from our HQ and relates to you

Dear Sales Department personnel
Please inform all clientele - a villa is not same as a hotel
We only have front row seats – late comers are dead beats
This concept is best expressed subliminally
By this pic of a monkey on his hands and knees

Here’s a quick lesson in cultural vibe
In Thai language we say ‘Ha’ - for the number 5
So Ha Ha Ha = 555 - and not this outdated LOL jive
But you must say it like Ice T - not Mr T - or that ET atrocity
And not like R2D2 - the guy with the high IQ
Who when it’s time to show his metal
Can’t get a date with a kitchen kettle

Now that’s as clear as broadcasting it in HD - on BBC TV
Let’s move to the bee’s knees - so eventually we can all get some ZZZ’s
If you do the mathematics - it becomes automatic – and clear to see
You don’t need a loan from the IMF or your BFF
To join the HI SO set - in down town Phuket

DAILY RATES + TERMS

RockStar is available as a 4, 5, 6 or 7 bedroom private holiday rental

Prices are based on bank TT or the ATM. For credit card add 5%. We don’t take checks in the UPS
Prices are set in USD. The FX rate is what applies on the date
A security deposit in case you lost it - and if you break it you have to take it
VAT is NA - just to make your day and pave the way

Name all the song artists on our Hall of Frames page - and win a coveted VRSCA*
Plus an FOC pasta by Chef Pong the Master
If you didn’t notice – you clearly lack focus – and are denied from applying
All calls are recorded and winners rewarded
Better throw your hat in the ring - if you want the bling bling

If you’re all guys - the maximum is 7 and the x room rate applies
The alternative is a true test - as it means banning X rated guests
We hate to be harsh and cut your grass
But you can’t show true form - if the villa’s a dorm

This website is made with the TLC of the RockStar Team
Who are very concerned about your well being
IMO the best thing to do
Is take advantage of our attitude
Turn on the IT’s
Make a booking S.O.S. please

I meant ASAP
OMG - things are getting a bit OTT
Somebody call an MD
TGIF

* VRSCA = Villa RockStar Certificate of Achievement

THE RATES INCLUDE

Airport transfers x 1 minivan each way.

All utilities, regular towels and linen, basic toiletries, drinking water.

A Live in Villa Manager (private quarters under the villa) on duty 8-6pm, and on call 24/7.

2 Maids on duty 8am - 6pm daily for service/cleaning.

A Top Chef, for cooking 2 meals a day (breakfast + one other of your choice).

Food ingredients are bought by the staff at the guest cost + 10% shopping fee.

All shopping done for the guests by the villa staff has a + 10% service fee.

We also have local restaurants that can deliver, or feel free to shop and stock up the fridge.

Includes all taxes and service fees except those stated above.

Now that you have all the STATS and probably feel like this sleek Ray, instead of that hopeless monkey. It’s time to be an automatic, systematic, action mechanic…… and book Villa RockStar for the Epic Holiday of your lifetime. That’s ABVRSFTEHOYL in code.

That’s a rap and a wrap

Exit stage left

See you at the After Party

RSVP

Villa Rockstar
Phuket Thailand

wok@villarockstar.com – Mr Wok

Ph: + 66 81 7373958

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